In the mid-seventies, when I was young, and little and lithe, I did an interpretive creative dance routine for churches and other religious organizations. I did it in leotards and sometimes, if I was feeling rebellious, I would do it braless. One Sunday morning I was performing at an early morning service at a Lutheran Church. While waiting for my cue to go on, I sat behind a wall that housed the pulpit on the other side. It had not been a good weekend, a good week, or even a good month. I sat there brooding about my plight, listening to the congregation singing wonderful, uplifting music accompanied by piano and guitar. Suddenly, I noticed that in front of me was the outside wall of the church. It was made of different colors of stone set in concrete in no particular pattern. It was beautiful the way the sun was shining at that particular moment. I was led to get up from my chair, move to the wall, close my eyes, and start running my fingers over the stone and cement. The sensations that I felt were smooth patches and rough spots. It came to me that this wall was a symbol of my life. My life consisted of brightly colored smooth spots and dreary rough patches. As my fingers continued on their path, it further occurred to me that the smooth spots were much larger than the rough ones, and the key to getting through the rough patches was to simply keep moving---there is always a smooth patch either north, south, east, or west. And, the last awareness I had was that as a whole my life is beautiful...just like the wall. This last awareness is really hard to remember when in the middle of a rough patch.
Author, Linda Richardson says that we have four zones from which we operate:
Dead Zone - Comfort Zone - Stretch Zone - Panic Zone
Many of us tend to get into a dead zone when we get into those rough patches of life. We bury our heads in the sand, we wallow in our pain, we wait for someone to come and rescue us, we wait for the other person to change, we wait until someone sees our greatness and offers us another job, etc., etc., etc. Sometimes it is just a state of mind, “This is my life, and this problem will never end so I will grin and bear it.” To stay in this dead zone greatly prolongs the rough patch. The more proactive you are to keep yourself moving, the sooner you will be skimming on the smooth surfaces again.
If you are experiencing a rough patch with your family life, your business, your peers, your clients, your money, or your health….KEEP MOVING. First, look inward without blame and ask yourself:
What does it say about me that this situation is going on?
What kind of changes do I have to make to speed this process up?
What am I afraid of that keeps me in this rough space?
Whose responsibility is it to fix this?
What are all of the things I could do to fix what is not right in my life?
Am I willing to do what it takes to make things better?
If not, why not?
Am I comfortable in my discomfort?
After you have answered these questions, get up and DO something. Talk with a friend, search the web, take a vacation, find a therapist, hire a coach, make a decision, or do something different on your own. The rough patches will probably pass even if you just wait it out, but in most situations, you have the power to speed up the process. You will feel much, much better about yourself if you are proactive about the problems.